His little Mermaid
by RinaHatakeda
Summary: He won the 65th Hunger Games now he is caught up into the Capitol world, forced to sell himself and watch his tributes die every year again - until Annie Cresta gets reaped and his only chance to find peace is to get her out of there alive.
1. Chapter 1

**_Finnick POV_**

I blinked irritated, when I heard my alarm clock go off. So it was time again. Another pointless day leading to loosing two young lifes. Another event that would end in two families blaming me for the death of their children. Another reaping to show how powerless we all really were.

I got up eventually. There was no use in hiding here. I would be dragged out anyway. The luxurious room around me made me sick. It looked too much like the countless apartments in the Capitol I had seen this far. My hand found its way to my tousled hair and I let out a heavy sigh. I needed to get ready and put up a smiling face before I got out of here.

My motions were automatic, programmed. Every year for five years now I had learned to stand up and keep going. To keep standing up every morning especially through the games was the hardest part of surviving the games.

A look in the mirror showed my sleepy and unmotivated seagreen eyes, the bronze hair tousled and tangled. They might say I was attractive and desirable, but all I saw was a murderer. Someone not able to keep the last eight kids alive through the games and probably wasn't able to keep the next two up and running for long.

I dragged towards the bathroom letting the water of a hot shower wash away my doubts and replace them with fake confidence. To brush my hair into a style matching the cocky grin I painted on my mask.

I just made my way out of there set up and ready for another year of lies and games outside the arena when I heard a knocking sound downstairs. I hurried there with a fake, easy going attitude. It was Mags though. The old woman had been a help and friend to me since I won my games and I had learned to let her in. She was the only person I still kept a somewhat close contact to. The only person who truly knew a bit about Finnick Odair the victor of the 65th Hunger Games.

"Are you ready to accompany me?" Mags smiled warmly. She always was like that. Like a tough little grandmother. "You know the answer." I gave a small smile and took her arm to walk to the justice building with her. We would be prepared for the streaming off the reaping there. Those Capitol lapdogs of stylists would be there. They only ever cared for their glory.

"You look tired. Did you sleep at all?" Mags asked after a while of walking in relative silence. "Hardly. You can't blame me really though, can you?" I knew she was having a hard time sleeping sometimes too. All victors with a bit of soul probably felt that way.

She patted my hand and we passed the invisible line between Victor's village and the part where the life pulsed in District 4. I immediately put on my mask and we both knew this talk wouldn't be finished anytime soon. The few people who were already up and wandering through the streets mostly struck me as people I knew. They were always the same, going around the empty streets with lost faces. They were the people left behind by the tributes who had fallen in the games. The sight of them had scared me in the first year after my victory. I had looked into the face of murderers in the games but seeing those people made me feel worse than any physical threat ever could.

We passed them and entered the justice building. We both were late for Capitol styling standards, but the stylists always told me and Mags that they could hardly do anything with us. Mags was too old and they thought of me as naturally camera perfect.

Hoodge and Alistair already were sitting in the small room reserved for the victors. Mason Hoodge was what one could describe as a nutjob. He was in his midthirties and not that reliable anymore. It was not like he was completely mad and out of his mind, but rather like he simply accepted every little flaw and simply lived it. Despite that he was a nice enough guy though conversations tended to go weird with him. Alistair Grasto on the other side seemed oddly normal. He had a son and two grandchildren, whom he loved. They were a happy family, although he tended to drink after the games and not go out for about 2 weeks. They had been there for me as mentors in my games and had helped with coaching the other tributes since my victory.

„Morning. Finnick, Mags." Alistair smiled politely and nodded his head to me, while giving Mags a small kiss on both cheeks. „Late like always. I guess the real stars really come a bit later." I had to smirk at that. „Than I wouldn't have come at all. Your suite this year looks experimental as ever Hoodge." The slightly twitchy man turned around at the mention of his name and looked down at his oily black suit. It really had all the reflections of oil puddles you sometimes saw in movies from the Capitol. „It's alright as long as I don't have to wear socks."

Turning away with a slight headshake I sat down in the chair the Capitol stylist gestured me into. She was new this year. Young and surprisingly nice. She even made an effort to actually make conversation that was not filled with stupid Capitol nonsense like fashion.

It took only an hour to get ready and I was glad about that. I never really liked the styling and the getting pretty for people who looked at us like meat.

All us victors were arranged in a line so the Peacekeepers could walk us to the stage. Mags was first and then we were standing going down with the age. We were lead through a variety of hallways until we got to a door, behind it we could already hear the people on stage talking. I always felt like some bait being presented at a fair for newest fishing equipment. Just a new way to bait the Capitol people into buying me as long as I performed well.

The door opened letting in a gush of bright sunlight and we made our way to the stage. The people clapping. Some more enthusiastic then the others. I still couldn't think of how all this was supposed to be glorious. We sat down in the assigned chairs and I let my gaze wander over the people of District 4 that had gathered in the vast place.

In the crowd I could easily spot my mother. She always stood in the same spot. Off to the far right hiding in a shadow before the fishing shop. And as always she looked anxious and nervous. She had lost me through the games and now she didn't want the same to happen with my siblings. I send them everything they needed so none of them had to sign up for extra Tessarae, but still the fear was present.

I also spotted my little brother and sister in the place for the children. I felt worried sick, when I saw that little Glenn was crying and that Mick looked at her from the other area trying to console her somehow. Inside I prayed for them not be chosen, not to have to go through that horror and also selfishly that I wouldn't have to be the one failing at helping them in the arena.

I snapped back to attention when the first tribute was chosen. Boys were up first this year. The name didn't quite strike me as familiar. Matthew Fresud. He walked up the stage and it immediately was evident that he would be one of the careers. He looked like he had trained already. He was tall and muscular without being bulky. Normal persons probably couldn't see it but to me and probably the other victors it was evident that he would be a threat to the other tributes. It was something about his way of moving that made people like us want to defend ourselves immediately.

He grinningly took his place and seemed to know that he had a good chance already. Now the girl was to be chosen. This part always was especially tricky for me. I had seen Megan the girl tribute in my year be killed right at the beginning of the games and this printed the image of a weak girl tribute into my mind. I never gave them much chance to begin with.

Annie Cresta. I frowned I had heard that name before. At least the last name. It took a collective gasp for me to realise it though. The Crestas were a wealthy fishing family and I had seen the girl sometimes. She wasn't frail or anything, but something always registered with me as gentle when I had seen her.

She was surprisingly composed when she climbed the stage. Our eyes met for a second and only in her eyes could one see a flash of terror. Of real fear. She quickly turned away and faced the onlookers again.

It took a while for me to notice what was off about her fearful look. She hadn't been afraid of the situation. She had looked like she was afraid of me.

Afraid of the only person on stage that she had seen winning the games. The only killer.


	2. Chapter 2

**_Annie POV_**

The Major was reading a text I had heard fourteen times in my life. Now it was fifteen and this would be the last time. I closed my eyes just for a brief moment, not more than a normal blink so the cameras wouldn't catch it. I was exhausted. The burning high sun did the rest to make me feel faint. I could barely see my sister Clara in the last row of girls she was holding up her head and her smile. I wondered if it was easier for her now. This was her last reaping after all. We had been joking around that maybe it would be mine too. I never would have guessed it could actually be though.

I turned around at the end of the speech and shook Matthew's hand. His palm was dry while mine felt awfully sweaty. We turned again to face the square and the anthem played before the Peacekeeper led us into the justice building. I turned around to look into the square of District 4 again and caught a glance at Finnick Odair. I looked away quickly. I couldn't help it, he was intimidating. He used to be in Clara's class in school. She had a crush on him and when the reaping was coming closer she couldn't stop talking about him. He was attractive yes, but all I could remember was how he killed that little girl from 12. I couldn't look at him without seeing those scenes over and over again.

I was led into a room without Matthew. It was the first time I was alone since I had gotten up this morning and it was going to be one of the last times. I closed my eyes for real now and tried to let it all sink in but no matter how often I repeated it in my head, I couldn't believe it. I was going to be in the Hunger Games. A joke. A dream. This couldn't be true. Not me. I was fifteen and I wasn't one of those poor kids you saw in other parts of town. My name had been in that bowl four times. I knew girls who trained for the Games and those who had to sign up more often. Names that were in that bowl up to a hundred times. And District 4 wasn't small. There were so many girls. I couldn't be in the games.

The door opened - my mother was the first to enter. She was holding back tears - that made the thing just more surreal to me. My father smiled which was startling me and reached me first, to swing me through the air the way he used to when I was still small enough to sit on his shoulders. "You're going to make us proud Annie. You will make the name Cresta famous through all Panem." I nodded completely dumbfounded. My mother brushed away her tears and then Clara reached me. "I can't believe you are going to the Capitol with Finnick Odair. How cool is that?" She squealed and I forced up a smile. "Super cool," I answered the uneasy feeling starting to fill me. I was going to be in the Capitol with Finnick Odair, and my life would depend on him. "You're so lucky," she said and sounded jealous. That was the moment it sank in – at least partly. I would die. I would go into the Hunger Games and die. And my older sister wasn't sad to lose me, she was jealous that I got to spend time with a bunch of killers. "I guess I won the big prize," I said not even fake chipper anymore. "Can you ask him if he remembers me? From history class. Or… no tell him to visit me when he is back, okay?" "Yeah sure." I was suddenly very angry which was a new feeling for me. I never had been angry with my family before. They gave me everything I wanted. I should be grateful that I didn't have to work after school, that I could go fishing for fun and not because my life depended on it. But now I was so angry. I wanted to scream at Clara and Dad. If she wanted to spend time with him why had my name been picked? Why hadn't she volunteered to save me? Why was no one but my mother crying for me? And why was she afraid to show her tears?

"Your time is up." I felt oddly happy when a Peacekeeper led my family away. "Make us proud Annie!" My father shouted again and then the door closed and I fell on the couch. The door opened again and an old woman entered. Mags. "You don't have any other visitors," she said which didn't really surprise me. And it didn't hurt me either. I didn't want to see my friends and hear again how lucky I was to spend time with Finnick. If there was no person sad about my coming death then there was no one I had to see before I left the district. "Are you alright?" "Yes." The word came out automatically but the old woman looked at me and I shook my head. "I'm scared." "That's good," she said. "It means you value your life." She left me with those words and I stayed on the couch waiting for Matthew to finish with his visitors, he probably had plenty, and for the cameras to set up at the train station to catch our goodbye on tape. And maybe I was still waiting for the moment I would wake up from this nightmare.

I had no idea what to do. I probably should have had a plan by now. Every undecided move from my side would be a weakness now. But I couldn't seem to switch into the game mood. I had no strategy and no plan how I wanted to sell myself to win anyone over or intimidate the other tributes. I had nothing but a week to figure out how I wanted to survive because the old woman had been right. I valued my life. Maybe I had to think about the people that used to be in it but I wasn't ready to give it up. I had one week and four mentors and I already knew one of my enemies.

I couldn't help but glance over at Matthew all the time. Would he form an alliance with me – could they force him to do so? Or would he kill me before someone else could even reach me, so he had the sponsors all for himself? Would we get sponsors at all? So many questions I hadn't been prepared for. And again I had to ask why. Why me? What on earth had I done to the Capitol to deserve to die?

I glanced around at the station trying to find answers to all my questions, trying to ignore the cameras and be cold and distant, maybe smart and thoughtful but not scared. My eyes locked on a screen that was showing live pictures from the cameras. My face looked too big. My eyes were wide, not red because I hadn't cried yet, but confused and unfocused. My expression was telling them one thing: I don't have a clue what I am doing here. I knew what this meant. I marked myself as easy pray. My first mistake. How many more would I make until it was too late? A slender hand grabbed my wrist and pulled me into the train, out of the camera shot. "Fresud move your ass!" Matthew turned away from the cameras obviously not pleased that he couldn't keep on bathing in their attention. I spun around to face my hero and froze in spot. Finnick Odair. He let go of my wrist and pulled the door shut. He seemed unnerved and his perfectly styled hair was messed up already.

"What's next?" "Meeting in the dinning room," a familiar yet always strange accent answered. May Jynn - the Capitol woman who worked together with our victors. She is a short delicate young woman, the way I imagined the fairies from my childhood stories to look like, with her short blue hair spiked around her head. I think one year she actually wore wings but maybe that had just been my imagination. "After that we let them rest some and then we meet for dinner and watch the other reapings together." She was awfully chipper and I felt sick, but maybe I should blame the speed of the train for that. I followed the others into the dinning room, trying hard not to stumble over my own feet while the ground seemed to be moving constantly. I was glad to sit down on a chair close to Mags and not too close to Finnick.

"Are you wearing socks?" I turned around startled looking at Hoodge, who eyed me suspiciously. I brushed down my green dress and lifted one of my feet showing the matching green shoes with no socks in them. He seemed relieved and held out his hand to me. "Mason Hoodge." "I know," I said which must have been a mistake because his eyes widened and he looked at me in panic. "Who told you?" I heard a chuckle from Finnick. "You are famous Hoodge." "Oh… yeah." And he relaxed again. May Jynn started with a speech that I paid no attention to. I was focused on Mason Hoodge, wondering what had happened in his games that he was like this now. Wondering if I might have to face something similar.


	3. Chapter 3

_**Finnick PoV**_

May Jynn started her speech about how she was expecting one of them to be the next one to sit here with her in the following year. She mainly addressed Fresud though. He did look like a winner. That grin the lean to his shoulders. I had thought like him once too. You could clearly see that he was the kind of child that was acting mean and bullied others to feel mighty.

Cresta on the other hand looked easily distracted. She glanced at Hoodge from the side who was looking at the ceiling probably searching for one of his imaginary monsters that always haunted his dreams. The monsters every victor had but only few showed to the outside world.

"I am sure that this year will be lucky for District 4! I can feel it in my guts!" exclaimed May Jynn in the typical Capitol accent which I learned to despise over the years. "I feel something in my small toe I am not sure whether it is victory though." Hoodge exclaimed and caused Cresta to gaze at him with a curious interest.

I frowned looking at her myself. She seemed to try to understand his behavior. If she succeeded and learned to analyze her enemies she could have a chance of surviving by luck. "What is your strategy?" I asked still looking at her curious myself now. May Jynn looked at me displeased since I had interrupted her monologue that was now solely addressed to Fresud. I ignored her gaze though. I couldn't bother right now to put up with a stuck up Capitol person only concerned about her hair. "I am going to join the Careers and win the games." Fresud sneered and slumped in his chair like he already won the games simply by being drawn.

"I didn't ask you, Fresud," I countered annoyed at his cocky behavior and frowned unnerved. This guy would be a lot of trouble. The kind that started fights before the games and was too hot headed and arrogant to stick to plans. I already hated him. Not because he was the way he was, but because I knew with his behavior he would surely be the next face imprinted on my closed eyelids. The next kid, which would surely die. And he would give another family a reason to despise me.

"I don't care whether you asked me! You have to listen to me. You are my mentor and you have to help me!" Fresud answered and I would have snapped his neck if Mags wouldn't have held me back with a meaningful look. Luckily Alistair answered in my stead. "Exactly. We are your mentors so you two better listen closely now. Don't get me wrong. I have family and a lovely granddaughter. I don't hate children, but we can't treat you like that anymore. You are now tributes in the game and you will be treated as adults. You will have to survive. And to survive you will have to possess three things. One might be easier for you then the other it depends on what kind of person you are, but nothing changes the fact that you will have to change your view." I always envied him for being this calm. It looked too easy when he did it. I could still remember how much of a despicable brat I was when I got here and he had later told me that he really had wanted to give me a slap, but living in his big family had taught him better. Sometimes I wished my family could still do the same for me.

"Perfect and what are those points?" Fresud asked as if he already knew them perfectly well. Cresta also looked at the other expectantly. She seemed to still not want to look at me. It was probably better if there was distance and it was a welcomed change.

Alistair looked at Hoodge expectantly who cleared his throat. "The first thing... listen really, really closely the first thing is...!" he looked at the ceiling distracted. "Hoodge!" All of us victors scolded him at once making him snap to attention again. "The first thing is adaption. Adapt to the situation and the people." He looked behind him with a frown. "Did anyone else see that bunny just now?"

I sighed and shook my head he was really shaken every game. It was like he was reliving his own games again and everything got stirred up again.

"So you only have to adapt?" Fresud asked with a frown. "And that is supposed to be hard?" I rolled my eyes. He clearly understood nothing at all.

"There is more to it than you think, Mathew," said Mags with a smile. "There is also point two. You will have to think. It sounds easy, but it isn't you will have to use your mind a lot in the games. Simply using muscles won't win you anything if you are fighting against an intelligent opponent." It was hard for me to not add that this point would be the hardest for him, but he just acted cocky again like he already knew everything to survive.

"And the third point…," I began my voice as even and smooth as I managed using my capitol member reserved voice. "Is instinct. Without a natural sense of which way to go or who to trust and who to kill you will die within a matter of hours." I didn't sugarcoat it. I tried that the first year and I saw them die. One slaughtered in the first minutes the other slowly draining of blood after 2 days. Mary and Robert had been their names. I would never forget those two frightful faces. The pleading tone when they asked me how I did it and if they could do it too.

"And that's it? That is easy," Fresud exclaimed. "Don't be too sure of yourself. Everyone else knows those basic rules as well. If it were easy nobody would die."

An uncomfortable silence spread across the room and filled every inch with a queasy feeling that wouldn't go away until May Jynn clapped her hands and two Avoxes came in. "I think it's time for dinner! It will be lovely the food on the train is one of the best!" She never failed to look ridiculous when smiling. Like a grotesque painting of a 3 year old that saw smiles too wide and cheerful.

The food was served and slowly conversation sat in again. Mags tried to get Cresta to talk a little more she seemed like a nice and polite girl. I was distracted by the others though. Fresud ate anything he wanted and was pretty messy with it, which got himself a disgusted look by May Jynn. Of course the fine Capitol people weren't used to others eating without manners. I myself didn't really like looking at something like that, but May Jynn's face was hilarious.

Alistair tried to get Hoodge to sit back at the table, which was pretty hard considering he hung behind the couch searching for the rabbit he had seen.

Just when I considered standing up and helping Alistair, Cresta started talking. Mags got her to talk about her family reaction. When I heard about her father I couldn't help myself. "You must really hate him now." She looked at me like I just said her favorite pet died in a tragic accident I had caused. "No! Why would I hate him? I never could he is my father." "But he still acted wrong. He should have been worried or sad. You aren't supposed to be happy if your daughter goes off to..." I broke off. I may be cold but telling her to her face that I thought she was going to die was too much. "Going to die?," she asked though and looked at me her jaw set. "No... no! I didn't mean...," I tried to take a verbal step back and explain what I meant instead when I really meant just that. "I know that everybody here thinks I will die. I am a girl and I am not well trained. I come from a wealthy family and I shouldn't be here. Even I think I will die, but I will try to survive as long as I can." She surprised me with that confession nobody who had a strategy would say that freely, nobody who was really trained would take that kind of direction and yet she said it. The room fell silent once again and I looked at her stunned searching for words I didn't have when suddenly I saw a blurred motion at my right side. Before I knew what was happening Hoodge had thrown himself onto the table directly into the large soup bowl gripping a white tissue with a way too high triumphant laugh that filled the entire room. "I got the bunny!"


	4. Chapter 4

_Annie POV_

When Hoodge jumped onto the table everyone was in shock, except for me. For some reason I didn't seem to know myself, I started laughing and clapping my hands together. "Bravo! Well done!" He looked over to me and smiled. "Told you I would get that bunny." I nodded grinning. Everyone else slowly joined in the laughter of us two but it seemed forced. Matthew left the dinning wagon, mumbling something about nutjobs. No one went back to eat something, but I hadn't had much appetite to start with, so that was okay with me, giving me an excuse to stand up from the table as well.

I sat down in the next wagon on a sofa near Hoodge. I wasn't sure why, but I was somehow fascinated by him. And it made me uneasy at the same time. He was crazy - there was no doubt in that - so why was he fascinating me? He could be dangerous. Actually everyone in this train was. Even May Jynn. I shouldn't trust them, but what other chance was there for me to make it out alive than trusting my Mentors?

"Do you like green?" I looked up to Hoodge who eyed me curious. "Yes… I guess… I don't know. It suits me, or so I've been told." "It's growing on you." I looked at him confused, but his eyes drifted of to the ceiling. "Look a ship." I looked up but I couldn't make out the form of a ship no matter how long I kept my eyes locked on the ceiling. Eventually I gave up and turned around to watch the world outside the windows rushing by. I couldn't see the ocean anymore so I figured we probably left District 4 behind by now. It was weird to realize that I even missed the last chance to see my home.

I was lost in my thoughts without being able to remember what the previous thought had been once it was gone. As the country of Panem flew by the window I tried to guess which District we were passing through, but I was hardly able to recall the image of Panem's map, for it was slipping my mind like all the other thoughts before.

At some point May Jynn came over to inform me that the recap of the Reapings was on. I never liked it much. Watching the actual Reaping in 4 usually was enough for me, so when my family watched them I would simply go to bed already. But until this day I had never cared for the games much, or for the kids. My status, the simple fact that I never had to sign up twice, made me forget about the terror they really held. So I didn't skip the recaps because I was sad for anyone. I was annoyed. I had to see these children die. I didn't want to see their parents cry on television. I would have had to get emotionally involved with the subject and I realized now that I had never been able to do so. But I forced myself up from the couch and into the big TV room where they all were waiting.

Know your enemy. I guessed that was where I should start my strategy. To see who I would have to face in the arena. Little did I know that their faces would haunt me for many nights.

Matthew only stayed around for the first five districts, said there was nothing more to see than the Careers and left. Finnick threw a glass after him but the door closed and the glass shattered at it. I noticed it all happening but it was like the land rushing by the train, I couldn't catch up with what I saw. I was still too occupied trying to get rid of the pictures of my own Reaping. The image of my seagreen eyes were burned into my head. There hadn't been any sign of fear or panic, like I had seen in the eyes of the boy and girl from 3. My gaze had been stripped from all emotions. It was like that one time, when we had found the corpse of a sailor on the beach. He must have drowned during the storm the night before. His lifeless eyes had looked exactly like mine in this recording. Shallow, empty and dead.

When I got my mind back to actually see what as happening on the screen the girl from 8 was just leaving the stage. Her name was still written under the picture. Capri Boston. She was thin, alarmingly thin, and even though textiles were 8's main production – my own dress had been made there and my Dad got it from a Capitol guy he was always selling stuff to – her own clothes could hardly be called that. She was dressed in what looked like an old sheet. There was no camera turn for her. No crying parents. Only another look at her in the old sheet with her filthy dark blonde hair blowing lightly in the wind. Before I realized what this picture meant to me, a tear slipped my eyes.

I missed the Reaping in 9, because I was too caught up in my thoughts on Capri. Girls like here ere my exact picture of a tribute. A name thrown in hundred times. No wonder they got picked. Only hours ago I had been wondering why it had to be me in this place and I pictured that someone like her should have been picked instead. But seeing her, I hated myself for ever having considered that. She was dirty and poor and without the Tessarae she probably would have been dead already, but she had a story that this short recap hadn't told, she had a life. She didn't deserve this any more than I did. Probably actually less.

A hand on my shoulder pulled me back when the boy in District 10 climbed the stage. I looked up into Finnick's face. He held out a white handkerchief his expression not readable for me. I took it and dried my eyes, trying to focus on the last six tributes. I had missed nine of them, leaving thirteen that I saw plus Matthew and me. My head was spinning. 24 kids all on a train like this on their way to Capitol. But only one of them would go back home.

And with a pang of panic and dread I realized that I wanted to be the one – no matter what. And if I had to kill all the other 23 I would do it. That realization hit me so hard it knocked the breath out of me. I jumped to my feet and ran from the room and into my own compartment. But I couldn't run from my thoughts.


	5. Chapter 5

_Finnick POV_

I had seen the reaction of Cresta to the reaping of the thin girl in 8. She was the symbol of what I thought of female tributes. Too weak and emotional to win. I could simply hope she would die quickly and as less painful as it could be.

Her look when I had given her the handkerchief had stirred something inside of me. Something I hadn't felt in a long time. A wish to truly protect someone.

Women like her always looked fragile and delicate to me. Like one of the dolls they got children in the capitol. So easy to shatter and break.

I tried concentrating on the other tributes, but it was hard doing so. I would have to rely on the others to help me with that then. I was startled when she suddenly jumped up and rushed out of the room. Her face was so troubled it nearly hurt to watch her. Like a thunderstorm was roaring inside of her. A feeling I could still relate to at least partly. The days before you actually got into the arena, the moments in which there was nothing to do except to think were the hardest ones.

You would see yourself die, kill, go crazy, hurt the ones you chose as allies, you simply saw yourself becoming a monster or dying in the progress of trying to stay human.

I looked back at the screen and watched the last bit of the re-run in a somewhat dazed state, just trying to not let the all too unwelcome pictures of my own victory take over my mind once again. It was hard considering that with every year I was a mentor I saw new tributes, fresh meat all going to be suffering death or worse a fate similar to mine.

It took us quite a while until we finally arrived in the Training Center for the Tributes. I hadn't seen Cresta or Fresud in the remaining hours traveling, but I had preferred it that way anyway. My mind had been swirling with my games and it had been hard for me to keep a clear head.

After a lot of thinking I had gotten to a conclusion how to suppress those memories for these games. I would keep my utmost distance to Cresta. I couldn't allow myself to fail helping my tributes, because I was getting too emotional. So I would have to concentrate on helping Fresud. Yes it would be for the best if I would keep it that way.

When I walked through the hallway with the others, escorted by Peacekeepers I was so caught up in my own mind, that I only snapped back to attention when Cresta refused to go into the lift until someone explained to her what it was. I couldn't really judge her. I had also been freaked out by it the first time I had seen it.

Mags gladly smiled and explained the basics of what it was. A chuckle nearly made it's way out of my mouth, when she insisted on using stairs instead. "There are no stairs." I explained which actually got me a mean look. "I want to go, can't we leave her?" sneered Fresud leaning against the glass wall of the elevator with an arrogant and calm expression. Alistair sighed. "Be nice you two. Come on Annie. It's not that bad when you get used to it. It actually is funny and won't take that long." After she took in Hoodge's approving nod she stepped inside gingerly.

I made way for her to stand at the handrail. "In case you want to steady yourself." I tried to be reserved and nice at the same time, not too much of a challenge for me. This was usual business in the capitol for me by now. She stepped beside the rail and took a firm grip of it.

The doors closed and we finally took of and when I wanted to turn around to ask Alistair when we should meet up for dinner I saw Fresud's expression: Utter Horror. I had to laugh at that, just as Alistair who smiled.

I got out of the elevator with a slight grin and looked at the two of them. Fresud was trying very hard not to show that he actually didn't like this new technology at all and Cresta was actually smiling as she turned to Hoodge telling him how much fun it was.

"You two should go to your rooms and take a look around before we meet up for dinner later." Mags said and pointed at two individual doors. "That will be yours." She looked at Cresta "And you will sleep over there." Fresud immediately took off and I had a hard time not laughing. Cresta was a bit hesitant at first, but took of as well.

This would be a lot for them. The first evening was overwhelming. The new technologies, the luxury, the food and smells. I still remembered my first day vividly.

I had looked at all the stuff around me amazed forgetting that this was only my last station before slaughter, until I had to think of how much my siblings would have liked this.

The moment you thought of your families at home, was the moment that made you realize you probably wouldn't be seeing them again. Not ever.

I sighed heavily. "I will go to my room as well. Change." I smiled at the others and quickly went over to the mentors rooms. They weren't as luxurious, but still had the standards of our rooms at home.

As usual I already had flowers and presents spread across my table. I never actually bothered looking at them though. Even though it wasn't as hard anymore, because I had severed most ties at home, I still had to think of many people. My family, my friends, the tributes I had to mentor in the past and the ones I had to prepare for slaughter now.

What did all those presents and declarations of love mean if you weren't able to feel any joy in it? And how could I? I was only another luxurious item after all. An expensive pet kept in a golden cage for the Capitolists to play with.

I stripped out of my clothes and went under the shower. The water dripping over my body helped me relax and clear my head. If those stupid soaps, foams and other gadgets were good for something, then for the sake of forgetting that I was just another toy of the rich and famous.

As the drops of water ran over the body they adored, fell from the hair with the color they had tried to imitate after my victory and hung on the lips they paid to get near, I closed my eyes taking a deep breath.

Maybe this year I would be able to help save at least one life.


End file.
